Discretionary Love

I am the boy my father prayed to be, the son his own father never stayed to see— the one who fled when death drew

with my chin digging into my knees, i pulled my legs closer to my chest, trying to ignite a pain that may prepare me for

Lemon blossoms drift through my door The sunlight is tangy on these muted walls Drift through my door Let’s talk about you in those muted

I made the mistake tonight Of asking my husband The love of my life What he thinks of When my tongue slides across his chest

                                              For Ryan

after Veronica Ryan’s Unruly Objects It’s dinner time and you’re cooking up something sweet. chicken cutlets or maybe rose quartz. mango pits in the sink,

Without you, the morning sunlight would illuminate my reading and coffee. Some new man would appear, warming up your old spot to my left. He

And your home is wonderful,  really, it is.  I would know; I spent my whole childhood trying not to break it, only to tremble on

The morning’s frost is the same colour as dry spit from an over practiced kiss we pretend means something about love instead of loneliness, and