it’s the first dream i’ve had of
him in 199 days and in it,
he forgets which isn’t half
as good as an apology
but the way he smiles at
me is enough to convince me
otherwise and in it, he squeezes
me tight and even 199 days later
i can still remember how his
weight feels against mine and in
it, we sit and i feed him the vignettes
watch his baby-bright eyes cotton
in my throat and in it, i grab his
hand map out my tit pull at
my skin slick on his fingers and
it’s really then that i start to
believe that this isn’t real because
he’s not even sporting a halfie
and in it, he starts to cry which is
confusing because i thought dreams
were supposed to be a reflection of
things you’ve seen before and
it’s still not an apology but i swipe
my thumbs over his cheeks anyway
and all i can think of is how
much i want to forgive