Home to Me

you were home to me for so long until
you just became someone walking around at night in the rain
showing up one last time with nothing to say
and i became the only one who ever called
to say hello and nothing more
because there wasn’t anymore

what was the point
if you didn’t want me in your life
i kept writing to you
letters and poems, thousands you’ll never read
trying to explain
that people are supposed to run away from home
not the other way around

i decided to never believe another promise
because to trust is to need
and to need is to rely
the reliance begs for disappointment

in my fantasy world
you still think about me
and are coming back someday
in my fantasy world
i’m swimming in the dark
but the water’s warm
and it doesn’t matter
if you don’t

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Beth Mulcahy (she/her) is a Pushcart Prize-nominated poet and writer whose work has appeared in various journals, including Full House Literary and Roi Faineant Press. Her writing bridges the gaps between generations and self, hurt and healing. Beth lives in Ohio with her husband and two children and works for a company that provides technology to people without natural speech. Her latest publications can be found here: https://linktr.ee/mulcahea.
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