A (Multiple Choice) Test
This is a multiple choice test. For the best results, please answer intuitively without thinking too much about each question. Circle the answer that you think is correct. You have the rest of your life to complete the test. Once you have completed the test, nobody will know that you have completed it. Thank you for your participation.
Section 1: Emotional Intelligence
1.1 You are speaking with your ex who you still have feelings for. She explains how she has noticed that your current partner’s drinking has caused you to feel:
1.2 Your ex can see that you are still in this relationship but continue to seek closeness with her. She thinks this is because:
a) You see closeness with her as reducing pain in your other relationship so that you can ultimately keep pushing through that relationship.
b) You need to feel in control of a relationship and that is more easily achieved with her.
c) You are used to uncertainty in relationships and that is what she provides you with.
d) You are gay and you need her to confirm it by being your girlfriend. Again.
1.3 Her aim in initiating this conversation is to remind you that:
a) She doesn’t think you are dealing with the situation well enough
b) She would not tolerate the treatment you are enduring
c) She is growing up and you are not
d) She has done a psychology degree
Section 2: Self-awareness
2.1 The conversation you have had with your ex makes you feel terrible. This is because:
a) She is right
b) She is wrong
c) You do not actually enjoy the honesty you claim to crave
d) You are sad that something which seems like it should be easy is so much hard work
2.2 You try to handle this experience by:
a) Demonstrating empathy with how complicated this must feel for her
b) Thanking her for being honest
c) Ghosting her
d) Eating a loaf of bread
2.3 Reflecting on this conversation allows you to realise that:
a) You try to control conversations by asking questions and avoiding answering them
b) You are unhappy
c) Relating to someone with high emotional intelligence is challenging
d) You don’t like bread
Section 3: Future Actions
3.1 Speaking with your ex in the future is likely to:
a) Be easier
b) Be harder
c) Haunt you
3.2 You can deal with difficult feelings in the future by:
a) Talking about it with a trusted friend
b) Avoiding difficult feelings
d) Eating a loaf of bread
3.3 Your capacity for change is:
d) All of the above
You have now reached the end of the test. Thank you for your participation.
Alice Wilson is a PhD researcher at the University of York looking at women who build their own tiny houses, and is also the co-director of social enterprise OpHouse. Her work has appeared in Ruminate Magazine and the Apple Valley Review.