Be It Ever So Humble . . ., it reads in fancy script on a plaque on the wall behind his head, the head in question belonging to Stuart Russell, Realtor, ABR, CRB, SRS. His business card also declares him to be a licensed appraiser (SRA) and certified public accountant (CPA). The bottom line reads, “Just call me Stu.” 

     As he prepares the paperwork for 10207 E. Foster Ln. (“Single story frame dwelling, 2,780 sq. ft, 5,203 sq. ft. lot.”), Stu’s head bobs up and down, and his fingers speed with abandon across the laptop before him. I’m always a little jealous of anyone who can type without looking at the keyboard, but Stu has been through the drill countless times and could probably prepare flawless documents in his sleep. Likewise, I’m impressed with his finesse on the calculator, a vintage HP, one of those that cost a fortune somewhere back in the Paleozoic stage of solid state. He reaches over for the beast without looking because he knows where it is instinctively and taps in a flurry of numbers, then returns to our paperwork. 

       Sara reaches forward to a pile of pamphlets off to one corner of Stu’s massive desk. “Seven Reasons To Own a Home.” She slides them back into place and settles back in her chair. The room remains quiet, save for Stu’s occasional finger taps on the calculator keys.

     Stu has a shiny bald spot. I catch myself staring at it and look away. There’s another plaque over to the right: Home Is The Starting Place Of Love, Hope, And Dreams. Beneath that, framed certificates, memberships, awards, and citations, a testimony to a lifetime of real estate, appraisal, accounting, and public service. On a credenza reside photos taken in tropical places, palm trees conspicuously framing a blond beauty and a younger, more vibrant Stu with a full head of hair. There are several houses, arranged in a progression of size and opulence. There’s a speedboat with a nautical Stu at the controls, the blond beauty skimming the waves on skis. Then, there are the obligatory strings of fish in a Northwoods setting, held taut by a string of smiling children. All this no doubt designed to impress and to facilitate light chatter before getting into the serious business of real estate that Stu is all about.                                                             

     Signed, sealed, delivered. It all takes much less time than I expected. As we head out the door, a motto overhead declares, Let Your New Adventure Begin! Sara starts towards her car, parked somewhere down the street. I head towards mine. Stu is already pulling onto the street from the alley next to his office, no doubt to plant a sign on the front lawn of the empty house at 10207 E. Foster Lane.