I don’t want to throw your words back at you, as I sit here, alone,
spinning my records with thoughts of you in my head.
If you wanted to make it happen you would, but instead, you tell me
that I must make the effort,
make the drive,
make the move.
And I, as I have always done, am ready to make the sacrifices,
to forgive, to say I understand. To put aside my own needs for
the benefit of you.
Because what am I but a man, who knows he can make it even if he feels alone,
who believes he can find happiness in just giving you what you need.
I’ve done it before.
I’ll do it again.

Damn it no.
I must not let the cycle repeat.
I took comfort in knowing I would outlive you
I will outlive you all.
But when I am 90 it will be too late, though the records will still play.
I cannot wait
I must either sing my songs alone or find someone who really wants
to sing them with me. Not on my terms, but with my hand in theirs,
without thinking, because they are ready to be with me.
To be part of me
To share with me
I want you to be that person but I am filled with doubt.
Not that I don’t love you, or you don’t love me,
But that you will make the effort you expect of me.